Volcano Mom

I'm not what you would call a "morning person." Actually, I'm a pretty awful person to be around until after I've had a cup of coffee. And this is the self-admitted part so it's probably worse than I think. But what REALLY gets me is when I'm dozing peacefully and suddenly, inches from my face, I hear that sound that Jim Carrey once deemed the "most annoying sound in the world" ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cVlTeIATBs ) coming from one of my kids. I feel like the guy in the middle seat. Except add that to the absence of my first cup of coffee, multiply reaction by two (once for each kid), and think of the potential energy once that festers for a few minutes (while I try to maintain serenity). I turn into Volcano Mom... that villain in the movies who appears to be sleeping, then explodes almost instantly into a scary, messy-haired monster that yells "I'm up!" and starts shooting pillows at its unsuspecting victims. Then there is that weird "only one thing can stop her! (drumroll) COFFEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" deal that actually works. I mean, I don't know... maybe that part is all still in my dream but that freaking noise that they make really gets to me.