*You get a better workout at the picture framing store than you did at the gym. But you're not sure if it's because the gym's play center asked you to come get your kids immediately half way into your workout or if it's because you definitely ran faster and lifted more weight in the store, as your toddler went running through the aisles of glass picture frames and you had to chase him down and carry both babies (one screaming and kicking) through the store to get out.
*Designated kid sheet washing day is Monday, but if their sheets don't smell like one of the three P's (pee, poop or puke) you don't worry about them.
*You already know what you would wish for if you were granted three wishes: 1. sleep 2. no crumbs 3. a sound-proof, vaulted locking bathroom door.
*You feel guilty for not using enough adjectives in your speech.
*You are entertained by the neighbor's overly yappy dog, but only because you think it's cute that your toddler keeps barking back.
*You wouldn't use the word "mess" to describe the living room floor when the entire contents of the toy box had been emptied upon it. However, the moment food products become involved, the word immediately becomes appropriate.
*You never ever ever knew food could be so messy.
*Five minutes before the kids' bedtime you secretly wish you were comatose and therefore not physically capable of changing diapers and jammies and brushing teeth and carrying babies to beds.
