Bed Rash

It was an unusually quiet morning at our house this morning. That scares me. But Dave said that Jordan was watching Sesame Street in our bed so I thought nothing of this strange lack of noise. Then I went to check on Jordan. He has been suffering from a terrible case of diaper rash since the Thanksgiving feast, so we have been checking his diaper and slathering the Vaseline on the poor guy liberally. And when I walked in to check on him I immediately realized that 1) we left the Vaseline too close to the edge of the changing table and 2) he is also capable of liberal usage. I also realized that 3) we may need a new bedspread and 4) Jordan definitely needs a new fake remote control. I further realized that 5) remote controls are the perfect size for dipping into a Vaseline jar and 6) remote controls can make excellent slathering tools. After that, I realized that 7) toddlers don't like the taste of Vaseline and 8) they tend to spit when they can't get something they don't like out of their mouths and 9) pajamas and carpet are good for the removal of Vaseline from the hands. And then I realized that 10) I don't know how to clean up any of this mess.