You know you're a mom when:
*You go to flush the toilet and the handle is missing.
*You find a jar of mayonaise in the closet.
*Your primary means of communication with the outside world is textual because the house is too noisy to talk on the phone.
*You can sing all the theme songs to Sesame Street, Cailou, Dragon Tales and Make Way for Noddy.
*The last time you got a full night of uninterupted sleep was at least a year ago.
*There are teeth marks in your bar of soap in the shower.
*You wash your dishes BEFORE you use them.
*"Burp cloth? It's okay, it's too late. I just rub it in... No need to create more laundry."
*You don't actually know how long your hair is, because the last time you wore it down was on date night... a few months ago.
*You check inside your tennis shoes before you put them on because there is normally either a liquid or a solid in there that you don't want to be surprised by.
