We went to the circus yesterday. I thought it would be fun to take the kids to the circus. Well, really, I wanted to go to the circus, I'm not gonna lie. I went when I was four years old, but the only reason I know I went is that I came home with a tiger flashlight. But the circus seems like such a happy place and I really wanted to see what it was about. Besides, the tickets were pretty cheap. $44 for four circus tickets -- the "mom discount".
Oh, and...
$26 in hidden ticket fees, including the "facility usage fee" for each ticket
$10 for gas to get there
$12 for parking
$25 for two baskets of chicken strips, a soda and a water
$20 for a light-up toy for Jordan
So I was feeling a little stupid about my idea to have a cheap and fun family day. But I put that behind me and thought we could still have a fun family day. We got to the circus and began to unload the kids from the car when I noticed that Jordan didn't have his shoes on. Dave noticed it at the same time and asked "Where are his shoes?"... My reply: "You didn't get them?!" Haaaaaa! Fortunately, Jordan is still in the carry-able weight range. We got into the circus without a hitch though, and went to our seats. The uptight usher seated us. The show started. It was awesome! And then an entire family came shuffling down our row from the other aisle. They stopped when they got to us. "You're in my seat." Lovely. The usher seated us in the wrong row. He's got a really complicated job so it's understandable. But we got the situation taken care of and watched the rest of the amazing show -- it was everything I had hoped for and more. Well... I did hope for a fleeting moment that the tigers would eat the guy who was whipping them, but I changed my mind about that hope when I realized the traumatic effects it would have on 10,000 young children in the arena. Sometimes I hope bad things that moms probably shouldn't hope. Anyway, when the show was over, we were definitely ready to head home. Jordan was getting cranky. I put the shoeless child up on my shoulders to make it easier to carry him and started the walk up the two stairs to the lobby area when the uptight usher grabbed me. Okay, first of all, I don't like being grabbed. It makes me defensive. But secondly, I don't like being told that somebody is not going to allow me to take another step, particularly when there are another thousand people crowding behind me on the stairs, trying impatiently to get out, and I'm blocking their way. Uptight Usher explained, logically (and frantically), that he can't let me take another step with Jordan on my shoulders because "somebody is going to push you and the baby is going to die." Right. Because somebody would be pushing me down the stairs with my child when the entire crowd is struggling to get up them? UUsh was my favorite part of the circus. He was the undercover clown that the undercover ticket fees covered, I think.
